By Myself

This one is just about how sometimes it gets so irritating being me.

Last night after I figured out the enormous amount of work I had to do, I was wondering why I don’t ever have the time for stuff I really wanna do, rather than stuff I have to do.
My morning which began way after noon was spent in looking at engagement rings with mum on amazon... so bhaiya could shortlist, something for Neha, but as fate had it we didn’t find her size in the only ring everyone liked…later when Bonnie had gone out for dinner and I was supposed to be working, he called again and I had another hour long discussion over the stone, size, color, cut, shape, clarity…everything abt her ring!!!
Ok fast forward to me realizing that I needed to have read the first three chapters of my very big DBMS book in order to do the assignments I needed to submit. :O time toh tha nahi, and maine kuch bhi socha ho, the night had separate plans….
Just when I was finally settling with my books and starting work BSES decided it was time for a very ‘not funny’ practical joke {what else can be expected with their non existent sense of humour}… light chali gayi…and gayi toh gayi bloody it wasn’t restored till almost 3:30am, by which time I was covered in sweat, tired of the radio in my ears and extremely sleepy with absolutely no work done for the assignment.
So be it, I said to myself “bhaad mein jaaye sab main so rahi hoon” and I managed to welcome sleep somewhere around 4am.
Expectedly I was running immensely late in the morning, Doliya ne bhi aaj hi mujhe unknown number se uthane ka socha…main uthi bhi nahi thi :-L, except for hearing Pratham’s voice in the morning, there was nothing good abt the morning…I just knew, today wasn’t gonna be a good day!
I didn’t have a clue abt how to react to:
“kya hua you’re not sounding familiar?”
“you’re sounding like you are very far away”
“if you’re not angry then what are you?... …just disappointed?”

Got to my cab somehow after multiple frantic missed calls from Swati and Doliya, but I had not even had my morning coffee forget about a single morsel of food.
Bas poora din I was feeling giddy, by the fourth lecture my stomach was aching unbearably and whether or not anyone was bunking the next class…I had to get out of there and so I did.
Was sitting all by myself in the canteen, very headachy, giddy and just not my cheerful self. Got up to get some water and pata nahi kya hua suddenly I was throwing up in the corner, jo nahi bhi khaaya tha who bhi baahar nikal gaya…lol.
After I had washed up I was sittin there in the canteen all alone and just then I felt like this was how the world is, just when u need someone to be right there to say something to you, to just talk, all you have to depend on is you!
Tried to get through to Pratham twice, msged him too but to no avail…he must have been sleeping or something.
Heres what my msgs read:
“Honey are you awake…I’m feelin very sick and nobody is here, can you please call?”
A lil while later [I waited a whole 15 minutes] when there was no response from him…{as usual}
“Sorry for disturbing you…hum baad mein baat karlenge, i’ll be ok.”
It wasn’t till after 3:15 that I finally got some company and felt better after having Pepsi and the usual “smile please” humor from Rajat. {“Thanks sweetie.”}

Anyways enough about the lousy day, it continued to suck when I got home too…I wasn’t, am not hungry at all…just had a bit to stop my stomach from cringing.
And he didn’t call. {I’m not complaining … just that I really wanted to hear him.}

Current Song: John Mayer - Love Song for No One
"I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me"