Complexities Vs Simplicities ... of the mind!

I wanna just voice today all the questions that keep gettin back at me every now and then. My life is sweet, but why for mere moments? why do the questions never cease? why is there always a "what if" and "when"? when they say "you dont get what you don't deserve", does that mean only few ppl 'deserve' happiness and others don't?? why is my future so uncertain, that i can never respond to a "what are u gonna do?" with conviction? srsly what am i gonna do...

Yesterday i was cleanin up my room ... my bro's comin to india today.... yay i get to see him after almost 2 yrs... Vikram Bhaiya wanna see u soooon :), I was actually categorizing my sem notes and puttin em in place when i found an old diary entry... dated 25.11.05 {my diary is called Shiny....cmon it can have any name now don't laugh at me like that} heres what it said 25/11/05 1:36am Dear Shiny I know I'm writing to you after a long long time but well something's bothering me and I need to let you know. I dunno why but lately I get this feeling that I'm not welcome in my college group of frndz. I might say that I may be thinking too much into it or just fretting over nothing but seriously I feel that I've distanced or I have been distanced from people, i thought were gonna be my closest frndz in college. Of course it hurts but I don't think I can share this with anyone but u coz I've only gone on to tell half the world that I've got this huge circ...

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Hmmm a long time since I last wrote and this post is goin out from the middle of my CG lecture - "Computer Graphics". 'Self Pity!', why u may ask ...... well fairly simple, apparently the lady at the head of the class with a book in one hand and a chalk in another is lookin at us as if we're completely dumb and shes the only one who knows what shes talking about. But the truth ... I have Su [Priyansu a good frnd of mine from coll] on my right and Rajat [another one of my good coll frnds] on my left both bursting out into fits of giggles at regular intervals of time while i'm silently grimacing in self pity [u know self inflicted misery coz of course it was my choice to attend the lecture in the first place ;) ] "Why the hell do they let such ppl loose?" She's on a staring spree at the moment and it kinda reminds me of the familiar bolly style "main kahaan hoon?" ;)) Poor Tushar, just in front of me had just crossed the threshold into sw...

Ok here are some of the questions that I asked myself when I sat down to think, actually this has to be triggered by something ... an event, a book, a conversation, a sight, a memory, a dream...whatever! coz I'm not the ones who would purposely complicate things when life's supposed to be fairly simple. I dunno what triggered it this time but what I'm thinking about and trying to answer are questions like ... Am I in the wrong? I know what I should be doin, but am I doin it? Am I not wasting away precious time, time that may prove to be decisive later on? What is my life, rather where is it heading? What if i reach nowhere? Can I make it on my own? Am I happy? What makes me happy? Who do I rely on? Am I goin to get what I dream about? Do I deserve it? Am I good enough? What do i want most from myself? I know its vague to leave it at that but then as I try to answer my questions, I also question myself for asking in the first place. As I hear the clock ticking in the cold si...

Happy New year ppl >:D Today is gonna be an account of the much eventful past two days.....or to be specific : past two nights. Ahem Ahem ;) Ok lemme start with 30th night. This definitely goes down as one of the most memorable in my diary, you'll know why. Well i think I was orkutting with Garu and had just finished watching "aek chaabi hai padoss mein" on Star Plus [cmon I can watch weekly shows atleast....so what if they're on Star Plus.....this one's nice yaar ... :P], so it was around 11:30pm when i heard my Dad's cell ring, could hear my mum a bit so i knew ki Didi ka phone tha. As expected 10 mins later my mum walked into my room with the phone in her hand coz didi wanted to speak to me. She asked me if i cud join her on gtalk .... and i nodded in a yes and hung up. After scrappin a "bye gotta go" to Garu...i was ready with my headset on.......Didi and I spoke {voiced} for about an hour or so.....but the last 15 minutes were by far the dumb...

Well Bonnie and I came up with this from amidst nowhere.....Actually it was her idea and I dug it. Like she says ppl don't like writing about themselves....for me its quite the opposite. I can write about what I think all I want but to think about what I have to write is pretty much a different ball game. But then I've been tagged so here goes :- 5 things I say most often : lol kamaal hai how sweet how dumb oh lord! 5 things I can do : Listen to music 24*7 .... i mean this i never get bored of listenin to songs, be it my comp or the radio.... "doorieeee sahi jaaye naa ....;) " Procrastinate doin stuff that doesn't interest me ... for instance studyin a particular subject or cleanin up my closet or other boring tasks/chores. Giggle at the silliest of things and have the most nonsensical convos with my frnds.... oh ya even crack a wisecrack once a while......hehee Waste time.........oh boy u really can't beat me on this one, i'll be gettin bored to death but...